Self-Hosting Monica CRM: Personal Relationship Manager with Docker

You’ve forgotten your partner’s coworker’s name for the third time. Your friend mentioned their kid’s allergy last month and you can’t remember which one. Your uncle told you about his surgery and you didn’t follow up. Sound familiar?

Monica is an open-source personal CRM (Customer Relationship Management — except the “customers” are the people you actually care about). It gives you a structured place to record details about people in your life: what you talked about, their birthdays, their kids’ names, food preferences, important life events, and the things that make relationships feel intentional rather than accidental.

The concept sounds clinical until you use it. Then it feels like having a better memory.

Why Self-Host Monica?

Monica had a hosted version at monicahq.com, but it shut down its paid hosting in 2023. Self-hosting is now the primary way to run Monica. That’s actually good news for privacy — your relationship data is some of the most personal information you have, and keeping it on your own server means it stays yours.

What Monica Does Well

• Contact management — Store details about people: relationships, employers, how you met
• Activity logging — Record conversations, meals, phone calls, gifts
• Reminders — Birthday alerts, follow-up reminders, custom dates
• Journal — Daily entries linked to your contacts and activities
• Debt tracking — Who owes whom (surprisingly useful among friends)
• Gift tracking — Ideas, gifts given, gift occasions
• Tasks — To-dos associated with specific contacts
• Notes — Free-form notes per contact
• API access — Full REST API for integrations and automation

Monica vs Other Tools

Prerequisites

Before you start, you’ll need:

• A Linux server (VPS or home server) with at least 1GB RAM and 10GB disk space
• Docker and Docker Compose installed (install guide)
• A domain name (optional but recommended for HTTPS access)
• A reverse proxy like Caddy, Nginx Proxy Manager, or Traefik (for remote access)
• Basic comfort with the terminal

Step 1: Create the Project Directory

mkdir -p ~/docker/monica
cd ~/docker/monica

Keep your Docker services organized. One directory per service makes backups and troubleshooting much simpler.

Step 2: Set Up the Docker Compose File

Create docker-compose.yml:

services:
  monica:
    image: monica:4
    container_name: monica
    restart: unless-stopped
    depends_on:
      - monica-db
    ports:
      - "8085:80"
    environment:
      - APP_ENV=production
      - APP_KEY=${APP_KEY}
      - APP_URL=${APP_URL}
      - DB_HOST=monica-db
      - DB_DATABASE=monica
      - DB_USERNAME=monica
      - DB_PASSWORD=${DB_PASSWORD}
      - MAIL_MAILER=${MAIL_MAILER:-log}
      - MAIL_HOST=${MAIL_HOST:-}
      - MAIL_PORT=${MAIL_PORT:-587}
      - MAIL_USERNAME=${MAIL_USERNAME:-}
      - MAIL_PASSWORD=${MAIL_PASSWORD:-}
      - MAIL_ENCRYPTION=${MAIL_ENCRYPTION:-tls}
      - MAIL_FROM_ADDRESS=${MAIL_FROM_ADDRESS:-}
      - MAIL_FROM_NAME=${MAIL_FROM_NAME:-Monica}
    volumes:
      - monica-data:/var/www/html/storage
    networks:
      - monica-net

  monica-db:
    image: mariadb:11
    container_name: monica-db
    restart: unless-stopped
    environment:
      - MYSQL_RANDOM_ROOT_PASSWORD=true
      - MYSQL_DATABASE=monica
      - MYSQL_USER=monica
      - MYSQL_PASSWORD=${DB_PASSWORD}
    volumes:
      - monica-db:/var/lib/mysql
    networks:
      - monica-net

networks:
  monica-net:
    driver: bridge

volumes:
  monica-data:
  monica-db:

A few notes on this configuration:

• Port 8085 is mapped to Monica’s internal port 80. Change 8085 if it conflicts with another service.
• MariaDB 11 is used instead of MySQL for better performance and open-source licensing.
• Volumes are named Docker volumes, which Docker manages automatically. This makes backups clean.
• The monica-net bridge network keeps Monica and its database isolated from other containers.

Step 3: Configure Environment Variables

Create a .env file in the same directory:

# Generate a secure app key
APP_KEY=base64:$(openssl rand -base64 32)

# Your Monica URL (use your domain or server IP)
APP_URL=https://monica.yourdomain.com

# Database password — generate something strong
DB_PASSWORD=$(openssl rand -hex 20)

# Email settings (optional — for reminders)
MAIL_MAILER=smtp
MAIL_HOST=smtp.gmail.com
MAIL_PORT=587
MAIL_USERNAME=[email protected]
MAIL_PASSWORD=your-app-password
MAIL_ENCRYPTION=tls
MAIL_FROM_ADDRESS=[email protected]
MAIL_FROM_NAME=Monica

Important: Don’t run the commands inside the .env file literally. Generate the values first, then paste them in:

# Run these in your terminal, then paste results into .env
echo "APP_KEY=base64:$(openssl rand -base64 32)"
echo "DB_PASSWORD=$(openssl rand -hex 20)"

Your .env should look like:

APP_KEY=base64:K7r3x...your-generated-key...==
APP_URL=https://monica.yourdomain.com
DB_PASSWORD=a1b2c3d4e5...your-generated-password
MAIL_MAILER=log

Setting MAIL_MAILER=log disables email sending. Configure SMTP later when you want birthday reminders delivered to your inbox.

Step 4: Start Monica

docker compose up -d

Watch the logs to make sure everything starts cleanly:

docker compose logs -f monica

You’ll see Laravel bootstrapping, database migrations running, and eventually the application becoming ready. This first startup takes 1-2 minutes as Monica runs its initial migration.

Once you see lines about the web server listening, open your browser and navigate to http://your-server-ip:8085.

Step 5: Create Your Account

On first load, Monica presents a registration page. Create your account with:

• Your name
• Email address
• A strong password

After creating your first account, you should disable public registration to prevent anyone else from signing up on your instance. Add this to your docker-compose.yml environment section:

- APP_DISABLE_SIGNUP=true

Then restart:

docker compose up -d

Step 6: Set Up a Reverse Proxy (Recommended)

For HTTPS access, put Monica behind a reverse proxy. Here’s a quick Caddy configuration:

Or if you’re using Nginx Proxy Manager, add a new proxy host pointing to your server’s IP on port 8085, and enable the SSL certificate.

Make sure your APP_URL in .env matches the URL you’re accessing Monica through — this affects links in emails and the application’s internal routing.

Step 7: Configure Email for Reminders

Monica’s reminder system is one of its best features, but it needs working email to deliver notifications. If you skipped email setup earlier, update your .env:

MAIL_MAILER=smtp
MAIL_HOST=smtp.gmail.com
MAIL_PORT=587
MAIL_USERNAME=[email protected]
MAIL_PASSWORD=your-app-specific-password
MAIL_ENCRYPTION=tls
MAIL_FROM_ADDRESS=[email protected]
MAIL_FROM_NAME=Monica

For Gmail, you’ll need an App Password since regular passwords don’t work with SMTP.

Restart after changes:

docker compose up -d

Alternatives to Gmail SMTP:

• Mailgun — Free tier handles reminder volume easily
• Amazon SES — Pennies per thousand emails
• Self-hosted mail — If you’re already running Mailcow or similar

Using Monica Effectively

Getting Monica running is the easy part. The challenge is building the habit. Here are patterns that work:

Start With Your Inner Circle

Don’t try to import your entire phone’s contact list on day one. Start with 10-15 people you interact with regularly. Add details as you remember them or as conversations happen.

Log Activities After They Happen

Had coffee with a friend? Log it. They mentioned their mom is sick? Note it. The five seconds it takes to record this pays off enormously the next time you see them and can ask “How’s your mom doing?”

Use Reminders Strategically

Beyond birthdays (which Monica handles automatically once you add birth dates), set reminders for:

• Following up after someone mentions a big event (job interview, medical procedure)
• Reaching out to friends you haven’t talked to in a while
• Anniversary dates for close friends and family
• Seasonal check-ins (“Ask Dave about his garden in spring”)

The Journal

Monica’s journal isn’t just a diary — entries can be linked to contacts and activities. Use it to capture the emotional context that pure contact data misses. “Had a great dinner with Sarah and Tom — they’re thinking about moving to Portland” is the kind of thing that makes your next conversation richer.

Backup Strategy

Your relationship data is irreplaceable. Set up automated backups:

#!/bin/bash
# backup-monica.sh
BACKUP_DIR=~/backups/monica
DATE=$(date +%Y-%m-%d)

mkdir -p $BACKUP_DIR

# Database backup
docker exec monica-db mysqldump -u monica -p"$(grep DB_PASSWORD ~/docker/monica/.env | cut -d= -f2)" monica > "$BACKUP_DIR/monica-db-$DATE.sql"

# Application storage backup
docker run --rm -v monica-data:/data -v $BACKUP_DIR:/backup alpine tar czf "/backup/monica-storage-$DATE.tar.gz" -C /data .

# Keep last 30 days
find $BACKUP_DIR -name "*.sql" -mtime +30 -delete
find $BACKUP_DIR -name "*.tar.gz" -mtime +30 -delete

echo "Monica backup completed: $DATE"

Make it executable and add to cron:

chmod +x backup-monica.sh
crontab -e
# Add: 0 3 * * * /home/user/backup-monica.sh

Troubleshooting

Monica Shows a Blank Page or 500 Error

Usually an APP_KEY issue. Regenerate it:

docker exec -it monica php artisan key:generate
docker compose restart monica

Database Connection Refused

Check that the database container is healthy:

docker compose ps
docker compose logs monica-db

MariaDB needs 10-20 seconds to initialize on first run. If Monica started before the database was ready, restart it:

docker compose restart monica

Emails Not Sending

Test your mail configuration:

docker exec -it monica php artisan tinker
# Then in tinker:
Mail::raw('Test email from Monica', function($msg) { $msg->to('[email protected]')->subject('Test'); });

Check your SMTP credentials and make sure your email provider allows SMTP access.

Slow Performance

Monica runs well on modest hardware, but if it feels sluggish:

1. Add Redis caching — Add a Redis container and set CACHE_DRIVER=redis in your environment
2. Increase PHP memory — Set PHP_MEMORY_LIMIT=256M in the environment
3. Database optimization — Run docker exec -it monica php artisan optimize

Upgrading Monica

When a new version releases:

cd ~/docker/monica
docker compose pull
docker compose up -d
docker exec -it monica php artisan migrate --force

Always backup before upgrading. Database migrations occasionally introduce breaking changes.

Security Considerations

Monica stores deeply personal information. Take security seriously:

• Always use HTTPS — Never access Monica over plain HTTP, especially remotely
• Strong passwords — Use a unique, complex password for your Monica account
• Disable registration — Set APP_DISABLE_SIGNUP=true after creating your account
• Firewall rules — Don’t expose port 8085 publicly; use a reverse proxy
• Regular updates — Keep Monica and MariaDB updated for security patches
• VPN access — Consider putting Monica behind a VPN like WireGuard for extra protection
• 2FA — Monica supports two-factor authentication; enable it in Settings > Security

API and Integrations

Monica has a comprehensive REST API that opens up interesting automation possibilities:

# Get all contacts
curl -H "Authorization: Bearer YOUR_API_TOKEN" \
  https://monica.yourdomain.com/api/contacts

# Add an activity
curl -X POST -H "Authorization: Bearer YOUR_API_TOKEN" \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -d '{"summary":"Coffee catch-up","date":"2026-03-21","contacts":[1]}' \
  https://monica.yourdomain.com/api/activities

Generate your API token in Settings > API. Some ideas for automation:

• Import contacts from your phone’s VCF export
• Sync birthdays to your calendar
• Daily digest script that emails you today’s reminders
• Integration with Home Assistant for greeting guests by name

Conclusion

Monica solves a problem most people don’t realize they have until they start using it. Relationships take effort, and that effort gets harder as your social circle grows. Having a system that remembers the details lets you focus on what actually matters — being present and showing people you care.

Self-hosting Monica means your most personal data stays on your hardware. No subscription fees, no data mining, no company pivoting away from the product. Just a simple, effective tool for being a better friend, partner, and family member.

The setup takes about 15 minutes. Building the habit takes longer. But once you’ve used Monica for a month, you’ll wonder how you managed without it.

Further reading:

• Monica GitHub Repository
• Monica Documentation
• Docker Volume Management Guide
• Linux Server Hardening Checklist